As always, noobs love to use certain buzzwords to blame their deaths. You've heard them all - "toxic", "random crits", "hitreg", "medic gf", etc. This time there's no exception. I call him out for his noobishness and he retaliates, ego inflated by his tier 2+ casual rank which, as you'll come to realize, is most likely farmed because no noob is gonna get owned this badly. Sit back and relax, because this game took 2-3 hours to cap and end, plenty of noobseethe for everyone.
Knowing how cocky and belligerent this noob was being, I knew he was all talk using my 1488IQ intuition. Therefore, I used an item called a "duel minigame" to get myself a free win.
Immediately, he loses the first encounter because he's terrible at the game. In come the excuses
I hit this noob with wisdom from an ancient Chinese warlord.
He tries to immitate me by failing to remember a similar quote
I quickly humble his lack of memory and/or lack of reading comprehension by letting him know the actual quote he failed to remember. Additionally, I give him a hint of what's to come later in this duel
mini kek, keep this at the back of your mind, because this will become funnier later...
Jesus Christ himself blessed me with a random crit rocket to own and demoralize this dumb noob into the exosphere
I also get a market garden on him, and he wastes a critkey on me. SAD! Thankfully the market garden got him to low enough HP for him to immediately die to self damage
Not looking good so far!
Really now?!
Forgot to screenshot a part where he complains about assists counting towards the duel win count. Disregarding the fact that 1. It's a team game and 2. he'd still be losing without me getting assists.
I told him I had the reserve shooter as a red herring to my next plan, which was to use a banner right when he was planning an assault on me. He got dommed too.
In comes the denial, which you'll se A LOT of
Rage quit #1:
In a surprising turn of events, the noob gives up? I was shocked, to go from denial to acceptance directly is unusual, because there are five stages of grief, not two. And immediately after he starts talking about male genitalia. Gay. Also starts idling, mega gay.
Despite already admitting defeat, he refuses to rage quit. This indicates that we still haven't left the denial stage of grief and he's instead switched to bargaining, desperately clinging on in hopes I die 5 times in a row to him.
He starts friendlyfagging on the 2fort sewer. Thankfully, I just used my noobtracker 4000 that I got on Christmas of 2024 (thank you Santa!) to locate him. He was playing rock paper scissors with a teammate of mine and lost (KWAB). He then saw me and killbinded, knowing I was 1 kill away from a domination.
Noob probably fat fingered mouse1 and got surprised when his charge got canceled as demoknight. Oh and he also got hit by his own grenade ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
He goes back to kneeling to me, admitting defeat. Only to stay for another half hour
Rage quit #2
Rage quit #3, plus admission of homosexuality. Yikes!
>LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS YOU STUPID FUCKING CHUD
Friendlyfagging AGAIN! Killbinds AGAIN! You see if I'd gotten that extra kill, I'd be winning by an avalanche instead of a landslide.
Finally, someone decides to cap to end his embarrassment.
And finally, rage quit #4! That's all folks!
...Or is it. We might have to add blocked soon to the prefix list on this post. To be continued
SteamID64: 76561198859388114
SteamID32: [U:1:899122386]
SteamID: STEAM_0:0:449561193
CommunityURL: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198859388114/
Knowing how cocky and belligerent this noob was being, I knew he was all talk using my 1488IQ intuition. Therefore, I used an item called a "duel minigame" to get myself a free win.
Immediately, he loses the first encounter because he's terrible at the game. In come the excuses
I hit this noob with wisdom from an ancient Chinese warlord.
He tries to immitate me by failing to remember a similar quote
I quickly humble his lack of memory and/or lack of reading comprehension by letting him know the actual quote he failed to remember. Additionally, I give him a hint of what's to come later in this duel
mini kek, keep this at the back of your mind, because this will become funnier later...
Jesus Christ himself blessed me with a random crit rocket to own and demoralize this dumb noob into the exosphere
I also get a market garden on him, and he wastes a critkey on me. SAD! Thankfully the market garden got him to low enough HP for him to immediately die to self damage
Not looking good so far!
Really now?!
Forgot to screenshot a part where he complains about assists counting towards the duel win count. Disregarding the fact that 1. It's a team game and 2. he'd still be losing without me getting assists.
I told him I had the reserve shooter as a red herring to my next plan, which was to use a banner right when he was planning an assault on me. He got dommed too.
In comes the denial, which you'll se A LOT of
Rage quit #1:
In a surprising turn of events, the noob gives up? I was shocked, to go from denial to acceptance directly is unusual, because there are five stages of grief, not two. And immediately after he starts talking about male genitalia. Gay. Also starts idling, mega gay.
Despite already admitting defeat, he refuses to rage quit. This indicates that we still haven't left the denial stage of grief and he's instead switched to bargaining, desperately clinging on in hopes I die 5 times in a row to him.
He starts friendlyfagging on the 2fort sewer. Thankfully, I just used my noobtracker 4000 that I got on Christmas of 2024 (thank you Santa!) to locate him. He was playing rock paper scissors with a teammate of mine and lost (KWAB). He then saw me and killbinded, knowing I was 1 kill away from a domination.
Noob probably fat fingered mouse1 and got surprised when his charge got canceled as demoknight. Oh and he also got hit by his own grenade ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
He goes back to kneeling to me, admitting defeat. Only to stay for another half hour
Rage quit #2
Rage quit #3, plus admission of homosexuality. Yikes!
>LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS YOU STUPID FUCKING CHUD
Friendlyfagging AGAIN! Killbinds AGAIN! You see if I'd gotten that extra kill, I'd be winning by an avalanche instead of a landslide.
Finally, someone decides to cap to end his embarrassment.
And finally, rage quit #4! That's all folks!
...Or is it. We might have to add blocked soon to the prefix list on this post. To be continued
SteamID64: 76561198859388114
SteamID32: [U:1:899122386]
SteamID: STEAM_0:0:449561193
CommunityURL: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198859388114/
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